French climber Alain Robert, known to friends as ‘Spider-Man’ because of his propensity to climb tall buildings has had his latest effort, to scale the 88-storey Tower Two of the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur trash-talked by the International League of Superheroes. In a statement on Wednesday morning, the League’s figurehead, Superman, stated:
“Sure, we all know that Spider-Man’s been under a lot of pressure recently. Hell…we all have. I mean, we’ve all heard the rumours about Spidey and his relationship with Mary-Jane being on the ropes, resulting in him resorting to the old glug, glug, glug…..but you know what? I’m willing to put my membership of the League down on the line right here and now and say that this was nothing but a shoddy old Spidey imposter.”
Others, however, do not seem so sure. One anonymous member of the International League of Superheroes that we spoke to, identifiable only by his dark cape and pointy bat-ears, pointed the finger squarely at a cultural phenomenon willing to blame anyone dressing in tight spandex, sailing through the air on a tight, coarse wire at high speed. “What’s the world coming to, ” our interviewee pointed out plaintively, “when you can’t climb a 452m building, dressed in tights, without having the full gaze of the media spotlight turned on you, before being arrested?”
The case against Alain Robert/aka The Amazing Spider-Man continues.