THE BNP leader Nick Griffin is rumoured to have accepted an ivitation to appear on the BBC’s Question Time programme in the coming weeks. Griffin is expected to be locked in a massive cage throughout the recording, suspended above a fiery, sulphurous pit, while a specially invited studio audience of ethnic minorities poke forks at him. “It’s his own fault for not reading the small print in the contract,” a Question Time producer said.
MICHAEL Jackson’s face has been sold at an auction in Perth, Australia, for £29,900. It is the first piece of memorabilia associated with the deceased megastar to have gone under the hammer since his passing over two months ago. The face, as seen in the cult 1980’s Thriller video, is a different one to those seen in the early and late 1990’s when Jackson recorded his Dangerous album. Jackson’s remaining spare body parts, not buried with his remains last week will go under the hammer at a Charity auction at Christie’s London next month
ARCHIVISTS have begun recording sounds of London to create an audio map of the city. The preliminary recording is said to include, amongst other things, the sound of people complaining loudly about the weather, some angry, drunken swearing and a loud, collective sigh to signify everybody’s general sense of disappointment with everything.
A NEW study from the United States claims that all girls are born with a ‘genetic fear’ of dangerous animals such as spiders, owing in principle to their status as child protectors. The study goes on to link female genetics with an inherent fear of letting you out with your mates, watch action films with aliens in them, or watch Match of the Day on a Saturday night.