authoritative, wise, and highly influential pronouncements

Sarkozy Caught in Controversy as Oompa-Loompa Complains After Factory Visit

In News, World News on September 9, 2009 at 08:15

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has been caught up in controversy after a visit to a local factory. The visit, thought to be to a nearby plant specialising in the production of a well-known brand of confectionary, resulted in an employee telling the press that he was only selected to stand next to the French Premier in a picture because he was: “the same height.”

As a result, a French broadcaster has publicly claimed that Sarkozy has insisted that he only be surrounded by people who are the same height or shorter than him.  Sarkozy’s willingness to put a spin on events seems, however, to have backfired, as the factory employee at the centre of the storm pointed out:

Oompa-Loompa, Doompety-Doo,
I’ve got a story to tell to you,
Oompa-Loompa, Doompety-Dee,
I’m only as tall as Sarkozy

Monsieur Wonka and his factory workers: offended by President Sarkozy's actions

Monsieur Wonka and his factory workers: offended by President Sarkozy's actions during his visit

Mr. Sarkozy’s visit to the chocolate factory, run by the mysterious Monsieur Wonka, came as a result of him finding a golden ticket in one of the many hundreds of bars of Wonka chocolate he had ordered his staff to purchase on his behalf.  President Sarkozy attended Wonka’s grand opening of the factory to the public, along with a selection of other golden ticket holders, but unlike the others, chose to hold a press conference in the middle of the event.

“I don’t know what he thought he was doing,” Monsieur Wonka said, “The rules of the golden ticket said that each holder should be accompanied by one adult.  I was hoping he’d bring that wife of his….she’s sooo fine.  What does he do instead?  He brings a bodyguard.  And his press officer.  And his make-up guy.  And EVERYONE from the press.  Outrageous.”

Sarkozy’s visit is thought to have been even further sullied when he directly ignored Monsieur Wonka’s instructions by leaning in too close to the chocolate lake, falling in and getting sucked up by the factory’s enormous pipes.

“Does this mean that Mrs. Sarkozy is available?” Monsieur Wonka concluded.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: