authoritative, wise, and highly influential pronouncements

Plans For ‘Hanson: Rock Star’ Game Shelved Owing to Lack of Public Interest

In Music, Technology on September 11, 2009 at 08:23
Be honest - every time you hear that song you want to gun them down, don't you?

Be honest - every time you hear that song you want to gun them down, don't you?

Plans have been shelved to exploit the growing popularity of the Rock Star game franchise with a Hanson: Rock Star Special Edition of the game, owing to a complete lack of public interest in the project. Following the smash hit success of the recently-launched Beatles: Rock Star game, which allows users to play as members of the Fab Four in an array of famous venues and settings, games producers have been keen to see which other bands would be willing to work with them.

It wasn’t long before Hanson’s management team got in touch with a view to developing a game that would capture the essence of their career to date. Made up of three long-haired brothers from Tulsa, Oklahoma, Hanson won a place in the world’s affections with a string of hits including the seminal classic MMMBop and…er, you know, the other one.

Brian Delphy from Harmonix Music Systems, developers of the game, explains: “We wanted a game that was truly authentic to the Hanson experience, giving gamers the opportunity to sing MMMBop in a variety of locations, from their first appearance on Top of the Pops all those Years ago, to more recent gigs busking for money under a nearby overpass.

“To make it all the more authentic, we were going to include three long blonde wigs – as well as another one for, you know, ‘down there’, once the lead singer reached the appropriate time in his life.”

Unfortunately, all hopes of getting the game into production were dashed when market research proved that Hanson were, if anything, wildly disliked by the General Public.”Turns out, Hanson were absolutely awful, which was something we hadn’t accounted for, which meant that the project was unable to get off the ground,” Delphy recalled.

“Even the addition of a secret Easter Egg in the game, allowing you to access a machine gun by pressing X, X, O, X, and then triangle, to gun down the whiny lead singer didn’t swing the deal.  I would have loved to have gunned him down in the middle of that bloody song, so to say we’re disappointed is an understatement.”

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  1. This might have been amusing if it were still 1997. In 2009, it’s just stupid.

    • Had this been written in 1997 it would be eerily prophetic, predicting accurately as it does the release of the latest in a series of games on a yet-to-be-invented console.

  2. […] with permission from @theoraclespeak at The Oracle Speaks. Read and comment on the original post here. Be honest – every time you hear that song you want to gun them down, don't […]

    • Actually… not at all. That song has never inspired homicidal tendencies in me, nor has any other song written and performed by children.

      You may want to discuss these fantasies of yours with a doctor.

  3. Actually, the reason that they didn’t realize the game was because of the cost required to include voice modulation software. You may recall that within a few months of the song’s release, the middle brother went through a voice change, necessitating the band to transpose the song to a lower key for future performances.

    Which reminds me – when will “Brady Bunch: Rock Star” be released?

  4. I have no desire to gun them down at all. The novelty of their 12 year old, uninspired be-bop song and their youthful cuteness has long since worn off, and they are vanishing into obscurity where they should have been all along.

    The joke about someone actually considering making a video game based on a group that the average tween hasn’t even heard of is ridiculous. Why after 12 years this is still grinding on the author is a mystery

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