authoritative, wise, and highly influential pronouncements

Welsh Caravan Holiday ‘Absolute Ruddy Nightmare’ Says Ferdinand

In News, Sport on September 12, 2009 at 21:54
Rio Ferdinand and son "race chavs" at Presthaven Sands on the go-karts

Rio Ferdinand and son "race chavs" at Presthaven Sands on the go-karts

Multi-Millionaire footballer Rio Ferdinand has lifted the lid on the real reason he and his family spent their summer on a caravan holiday worth £400 in Prestatyn, North Wales, rather than at an exclusive resort in foreign climes. It was initially thought that Ferdinand had shunned his luxurious lifestyle in favour of a more grounded holiday experience, until the Manchester United and England defender saw fit to set the record straight.

“Look,” said Rio in an exclusive interview this evening, “cut out all the crap about the caravan in Wales, alright? It was an absolute ruddy nightmare. I wouldn’t even mind but I only went there because of a mix-up at Thomas Cook. I wanted to go to Rio – you know, like my name? Instead, they booked me in there because of some kind of misunderstanding.”

Ferdinand admitted that he was only forced to go to Presthaven Sands at the last minute with his wife Rebecca and two sons, after several hours of shouting at Thomas Cook over the phone, as they had left it far too late to book anywhere else.  He was also at pains to stress that he did not enjoy his caravanning experience.

“The holiday camp was awful,” Ferdinand admitted. “We had to put up with all the gypsies from the neighbouring caravans coming in and nicking our stuff, while the only entertainment was racing the chavs on the go-karts after a couple of cans of Special Brew. Also, there was a funny smell of wee everywhere we went.”

For kids at the holiday camp, however, the opportunity to meet one of their heroes was one they were delighted to take advantage of.

Dave, 12, from Cardiff said: “I nicked Rio’s watch and his sunglasses, and when he was on the go-karts, my mate Brian nicked £50 from his wallet and had a wee in his shoes. We hope Rio comes back every year and brings the whole Manchester United team with him.”

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