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Silvio Berlusconi, Barack Obama Involved in Public Wrestling Match

In Politics, World News on September 29, 2009 at 13:52

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and US President Barack Obama became embroiled in an astonishing public wrestling match at the G20 summit in Pittsburgh last week, it has emerged.  The altercation, which resulted in the Italian premier needing treatment for a number of minor wounds, began after a heated row between the two, and was initially thought to have been successfully covered up by those present at the time – until footage of the fracas taken on a camera phone surfaced last night.

"Something I said?"

"Something I said?"

Eyewitness reports have subsequently confirmed that Berlusconi initiated the dispute by repeating his inflammatory statement about the 48 year-old President and his wife Michelle having a “sun-tan” to the couple’s face, before leaning over to pinch the First Lady’s backside, winking and making a pronounced ‘honking’ noise in the process.

A White House source indicated: “The President took obvious exception to Mr. Berlusconi grabbing the First Lady’s backside.  Not many people know that Obama is an expert in kung-fu, but it wasn’t long before he had taken off his jacket and threatened to go all oriental on his ass.”

A reporter for Italian newspaper Il Giornale takes up the story: “Signor Berlusconi saw Obama gesturing to him – a bit like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, you know.  But Silvio wasn’t deterred.  He has the heart of a lion and the strength of a bear.  He showed his teeth at the President, before throwing himself across the room at him.  Before long, the two were wrestling angrily on the floor, swiping at each other randomly and shouting.”

The amateur camera footage uncovered today shows that the grisly confrontation between the two heads of state was only broken when Michelle Obame came up behind Berlusconi with a chair and, with immaculate timing, brought it down on his back with the full force of her weight.   After a sustained period of unconsciousness, punctuated only by the Obamas whooping, high-fiving and standing over the stricken Italian Prime Minister shouting: “YOU’D BETTER STAY DOWN,” Mr. Berlusconi was revived and treated by paramedics for minor injuries.

This is the third time in two months that heads of state have clashed on the global stage after last month’s bitter confrontation between Nicolas Sarkozy and Jose Luis Rodrigues Zapatero, the Spanish Prime Minister, and a particularly vicious cat-fight between Angela Merkel and Prime Minister Michele Pierre-Louis of Haiti.

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