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Boris Johnson Claims Moon Water for London

In News, Science on September 30, 2009 at 16:48

Following reports that water has been found on the Moon, London Mayor Boris Johnson has formulated a plan to collect the precious resource to supplement London’s supply.

The Mayor has made some alterations to his London Water Strategy, developed in recent weeks in association with Thames Water and the Environment Agency. Now, instead of pledging measures to make London more water efficient, Mr. Johnson intends to send ‘giant space tankers’ to the Moon to ‘suck up’ the water and bring it back to London, where it will be filtered and distributed to households across the capital.

Mayor Boris Johnson’s solution to London’s water worries

Mayor Boris Johnson’s solution to London’s water worries

“It’s an absolutely foolproof plan,” Mr. Johnson said, seemingly without a trace of irony, this morning. “Just a few weeks ago, I was faced with choosing one of two expensive, inconvenient options. I could either systematically repair London’s entire water and sewage network in an attempt to conserve our existing water supply, or I could invest billions in creating new reservoirs. Neither of those options seemed desirable, and I’m absolutely delighted to find this third option.”

When asked for precise details of the scheme, the Mayor produced a diagram he had drawn up personally, which, he said, explained exactly how the water would be obtained and shipped. Mr. Johnson stressed that the diagram was not to scale, but that the space tanker shown — one of several scheduled for construction as soon as a manufacturer can be found — would be “very, very big indeed.”

Prominent on the diagram is a smiling, waving figure, seated in the cockpit of the space tanker. Labelled as ‘Commander Boris’, this person would presumably be responsible for piloting the ship. However, Mr. Johnson would not be drawn on the identity of the figure, and also declined to discuss the cost of the proposed scheme.

“I’ll provide full details, along with a budget estimate, as soon as the plans are finalised,”  Johnson said. “My priority at this time is to complete the Meccano model of the space tanker I’m currently working on. When that’s finished, we’ll be a lot closer to knowing how much this will cost London’s taxpayers.”


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