Manchester City are hoping to smash the British transfer record with a record £45 million bid for a Liverpool-branded beach ball as soon as the transfer window opens in January, according to sources close to the club. The beach ball suffered a disastrous debut at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light on Saturday, deflecting Darren Bent’s shot past Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina and into his own goal, although City manager Mark Hughes is said to have been hugely impressed by the beach ball’s attitude demonstrated in the aftermath of the controversy.
“A lot of players would have let it get to them, and would have dropped their heads – but not ‘Beachy’….partly because he doesn’t have one, I suppose.” Hughes remarked. “It takes great character to come back from an incident like that, and that’s exactly what Beachy did – just minutes later, you could see him with his valve up, being thrown about by the crowd. He was loving it.”
Despite the own-goal, some pundits have labelled Beachy’s performance as ‘the most promising debut since Dalglish’ while fans have compared his performance with that of Jamie Carragher, if only because he also likes to knock one past his own keeper every now and then.
“If Beachy continues like this, then surely full England recognition can’t be too far off?” suggested one Liverpool fan. “How long can Capello afford ignore the air-filled solution to Rio Ferdinand’s recent dip in form? Plus, he’s be great for team morale – you can just see the lads knocking him gently backwards and forwards over a net in South Africa as they relax in between games.”
Not everyone has been so keen on Beachy’s performance, however. Sunderland manager Steve Bruce was scathing despite having benefited from the player’s own goal. “I’m not surprised that Man City have come in with this bid to be honest – the referee let Liverpool play with twelve players for much of the game – it doesn’t matter that one of them was a beach ball, or even that he scored an own goal. He was wearing a Liverpool strip and that’s all that counts.”
Asked if this was yet another example of Manchester City throwing senseless amounts of cash at the first sensationalist name that comes up in the media in a pathetic bid to appease the club’s owners, and send its supporters on yet another intolerable rant about how rich they are, Hughes said: “Yes, what of it?”