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Britain praying Queen lives long enough to grant extra bank holiday

In News on January 7, 2010 at 09:22

Not dead...yet

The entire British population will be willing the Queen not to snuff it – at least until late summer 2012, it emerged yesterday, after it was announced that they would be given an extra bank holiday in 2012 to mark the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.

The extra public holiday has been announced as June 5 2012, although fears are growing that the Queen, who will be 86 in 2012 is jumping the gun by making this announcement now.

“Look, don’t get me wrong, I love bank holidays as much as the next guy,” says London taxi driver Gavin Coombes, “but Her Maj is tempting fate a little bit here, isn’t she? I mean, how many women of her age do you see making brash, bold predictions for where they’ll be in two and a half years time? Not many – and with good reason.”

Rachel Paterson from Help the Aged agrees: “Of course, everyone knows that the Queen lives in the lap of luxury and doesn’t have to cope with many of the issues the elderly face every day, but let’s be honest.  All it takes is for her to trip or fall in this icy weather, or take a tumble down the stairs and she’s had it.

“The Queen has a responsibility – not just to herself and her advanced years – but now also to us as a nation. I mean, imagine if she croaks it now, having promised us all an extra day off work? That isn’t the sort of thing you can dangle in front of somebody’s face before cruelly snatching away.”

This is not the first time that Palace officials have made an effort to plan in advance after they announced in 1996 that there would be a special day in May 1998 to commemorate Diana, Princess of Wales, and another bank holiday in November 2003 to celebrate the life and times of the Queen Mother.

“I’m not being funny or anything, but look how they turned out,” said Coombes.

Officials at Buckingham Palace have insisted that every effort is being made to ensure the Queen’s continued good health in the lead-up to her Diamond Jubilee. “She’s not going anywhere,” a spokesperson revealed. “As a matter of fact, only yesterday, she told me that she’d rather be wired up to a respirator on a saline drip and still be Queen than have old Jug Ears take over.”

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