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Beckham to get The Last Supper painting tattooed onto nipples, buttocks

In Culture, Sport on January 13, 2010 at 09:24

AC Milan and England midfielder David Beckham has caused controversy by announcing that he is to have the classical scene from Da Vinci’s The Last Supper painting reproduced as a tattoo which will cover his nipples and buttocks.

The surprise move comes in the wake of the unveiling of Beckham’s most recent tattoo this week after his team’s win against Juventus in Turin.

Although that tattoo, taken from the painting The Man Of Sorrows by Matthew R Brooks, and depicting Jesus on his way to the cross, has caused considerable debate, the decision to cover his nipples and buttocks in iconic religious motifs is one that is sure to see Beckham come under fire yet again.

"Judas go poo-poo!"

The painting depicts a poignant moment for Christians recounting as it does the final days of Jesus, who announces that one of his twelve disciples will betray him.

“I think it will be extremely, y’know, tasteful,” said Beckham this morning. “I’m not, y’know, completely sure if I can get it done yet, but I’m hoping that we can position the, y’know, image so that Jesus sits just in between my nipples, and Judas will be, y’know, on my buttocks.”

David’s wife explains, “Becks has always liked that painting and I said I’d get him a tattoo of it for him for Christmas. I’m classy like that.

“David was really excited at the prospect of having Judas on his buttocks – I think he’s got this image in this head that every time he goes to the loo, he’s going to shout: ‘Judas go poo-poo!’ Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

This will be the fifth Beckham tattoo to depicts Christian iconography as he also has a crucifix on the back of his neck, a guardian angel between his shoulder blades and an angel on his right shoulder.

Beckham’s personal taxidermist, Pete ‘the Snake’ Temple recounts how he had talked David through various tattoo options before he eventually settled on the Da Vinci classic.  “We discussed tattooing the scene from the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, the Mona Lisa, and, David’s favourite, the Teletubbies…in the end, I managed to convince him that this was for the best.”

“After this, I’m going to get that scene in Return of the Jedi where, y’know, Darth Vader fights Luke Skywalker,” Beckham added, before Victoria assured him that this was in no way associated with Christian iconography of any sort.

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