Results from a new national survey, published this morning, claim that more than 76% of all statistics and facts in public surveys are simply made up. The study, carried out by the National Society for Telling Truth in Surveys (NSTTS) also claims that public relations companies use surveys as a cheap gimmick to raise the profile of their cause.
NSTTS spokesperson The Great Stupendo said: “It’s ridiculous, frankly. We want much more transparency from the PR industry as to how they source their data for surveys and releases.”
The Great Stupendo added: “nearly 62% of PR agencies claimed to have made up the name of a spokesperson for a quote. I’ve seen some pretty stupid names in my time, let me tell you, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re getting pretty sick and tired of the whole thing.”
Trixie McBoobjob, spokesperson for the Chartered Institute of Public Relations (CIPR) hit back at The Great Stupendo’s claims, arguing: “at least 97% of all people working within the public relations industry use surveys, statistical analysis and the names of spokespeople in a fair and responsible manner. At least 84% of the population know that, according to our research.
“We shouldn’t let those who use these tools irresponsibly tarnish our name. My colleague, Lord Cool-Aid, and I will be setting up a taskforce to look into the matter immediately.
“We set up a national survey to see if the public approved this course of action and they said that not only did they heartily endorse what we were doing but that they also expected the issue to be resolved 3000% quicker as a result.”
Prime Minister Gordon Brown responded to the issue with a statement to the press outside Downing Street this morning: “I’m confused. Do any of these people actually exist?”