Today sees the launch of a controversial new initiative aimed at restoring flagging morale in offices hit by redundancies, which the government says will “change the way we approach our work.”
Naked Fridays is the first of a series of new compulsory measures brought introduced to tackle the effects of the recession in the workplace, and makes it mandatory for all workers to work at least one Friday in the calendar month without their clothes on in an office environment.
Steve Parker, 34, from Weybridge seemed uncertain as to the benefits of the initiative after he made his naked commute in to the office this morning:
“The government are right when they say Naked Fridays impact upon our approach to work,” he said. “With some of the looks I was getting on the train earlier, I had to use the office’s rear entrance to avoid being seen by anyone I knew.”
Home Secretary Alan Johnson, speaking from Westminster without any clothes on, welcomed the move, claiming that Naked Fridays: “strike a blow for the average man in the fight against tough economical conditions.”
He did, however, warn that a mature attitude was required if Naked Fridays was to be a success. “I know that when we tested the scheme earlier this year there was a lot of childish giggling. Well, all I’ll say about that is that people need to grow up, get into the spirit of this thing, and stop pointing at each other’s bits and laughing. We’ve all got them.”
Naked Friday is the first of a number of government schemes currently being trialled in offices nationwide, including Bring Your Crack Dealer to Work Wednesday and Fill the Office with Brightly Coloured Plastic Balls Monday.
“All of these schemes are aimed at putting a smile on the face of the British office worker, who has had to endure a torrid year of salary cuts, redundancies and cutbacks,” said a government spokesperson.
“After all, what’s wrong with everybody bringing their crack dealer into the communal workplace to swap crack ideas, sell their wares and generally discuss the latest developments in the crack industry? Nothing, that’s what.”
It will take a good deal more, it seems, before office workers like Steve Parker are convinced. “I’m all for improving morale in the workplace,” he said, “but couldn’t they have introuduced Naked Fridays in the summer instead? It’s freezing outside and snow is forecast next week. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”