authoritative, wise, and highly influential pronouncements

Beckham insists that Ferguson is ‘massive, massive tw*t’

In Sport on March 10, 2010 at 09:05

AC Milan and England midfielder David Beckham has stoked the fires ahead of tonight’s Champions League 2nd Round match at Old Trafford by declaring that United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is a “massive, massive tw*t.”

Beckham’s comments, made as he sat alongside his manager, Leonardo, were made to a stunned group of journalists during last night’s pre-match press conference in Manchester.

“Look,” said Beckham, 34, “I know that I’m supposed to be all respectful and all that, and make sure I say the right thing, but I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore.

Tw*t

“If I hear one more person banging on about what a ‘great man’ Ferguson is, I’ll be sick over myself. The fact is that he’s a massive, massive tw*t. Always has been, always will be.”

Beckham went on to continue his verbal attack on the United manager, citing the boot Ferguson hurled at him in the dressing room after a match in 2003 as an example.

“He kicked a boot at me and nearly blinded me!” Beckham exclaimed. “I mean, really.  Who does that?  I needed two stitches in my eye, for God’s sake. Yes, I know I said that I had forgiven him, but try putting yourself in my position, will you?”

Milan manager Leonardo, who had been wearing an expression of shock throughout Beckham’s diatribe, added: “Personally, I couldn’t agree more with what David says.

“Ferguson is a purple-faced bully and a total dick to boot. Anyone who has their own stopwatch to time the number of minutes of added time has got to be an almighty douche when you think about it.”

Meanwhile, Martin Samuel, Football Correspondent for The Daily Mail said: “I don’t understand it. These press conferences are usually just full of platitudes about how great the other team is. Beckham has never said anything remotely controversial in his life before. What’s happening?”

Manchester United declined to offer official comment on Beckham’s remarks, although an inside source confirmed: “Sure, Ferguson is one of the most successful football managers of all time. But that doesn’t make him any less of a prick. What a huge, gigantic tw*t he is.”

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