The Duchess of Cornwall is to be put down after breaking her left leg while hillwalking in Scotland, Clarence House announced this morning. Camilla, 62, suffered a twisted fracture of her fibula when she slipped on Wednesday and the break was later confirmed by x-ray.
Clarence House said: “We can confirm that the Duchess broke her leg on Wednesday. Having consulted with a number of doctors, as well as Her Majesty the Queen, we believe we have reached the best solution for everyone. It’s the most humane option for all concerned.”
After the fall, the Duchess was treated to her favourite meal of sugar lumps and a nice, juicy carrot while she waited for doctors to deliver their verdict.
“The best thing we can do now is to put the Duchess down as quickly and as humanely as possible to end her suffering,” said a doctor on the scene who had been examining Camilla after her fall.
“I’ll be heading out to the shed in five minutes or so to fetch a shotgun. That should do the job and put her out of her misery. BAM! Right between the eyes.”
Camilla will not be the first member of the Royal family to be put down after sustaining injury. “Henry VIII was a big fan of ending the suffering of his wives,” said leading historian Bernard Fulthrop.
“A little known fact is that Anne Boleyn had sustained a severely bruised ankle after falling over in the street one day. That’s the real reason Henry had her put down or ‘executed’.
“In modern times, you only have to look at the case of Diana, Princess of Wales, who badly chipped a nail on her right hand in the summer of 1997. Before you knew it, the Royal Family arranged to ease her suffering by orchestrating a car crash in a Parisian tunnel. God bless them.”
Although Buckingham Palace confirmed that the Queen was unavailable for comment on the Duchess, loud whoops, hollers and party music could be heard emanating from the Palace well into the early hours of the morning.