The other members of the Addams Family have publicly congratulated Portsmouth manager Avram Grant for his success in yesterday’s FA Cup semi-final victory over Tottenham Hotspur.
In a public statement, head of the family Gomez Addams expressed his delight at the 2-0 win at Wembley Stadium. “I’d just like to say on behalf of the whole family how pleased we were about Avram’s success yesterday,” he said.
“It was creepy and it was kooky, mysterious and spooky. And altogether ooky, the Portsmouth victory. Uncle Fester was beside himself, while Morticia and I celebrated long into the night. We’re so proud of him.”
Portsmouth’s triumph was sealed with goals from Frederic Piquionne and Kevin-Prince Boateng, and means that they will face holders Chelsea in the FA Cup Final on May 15th in a climactic end to a season which has seen them relegated out of the Premier League owing to poor results and financial irregularities.
“Myself and Pugsley were not displeased to hear that Portsmouth will be playing in the Championship next season,” said Wednesday Addams. “The Premier League is far too…exciting…while the Championship has lots of older grounds for us to visit, some of which might be haunted. However, the FA Cup Final is a different matter altogether.”
Avram Grant was brought up as an honourary member of the Addams Family, living with them at the Addams Family mansion in the middle of a cemetery until the early 1970s when he decided to pursue a career as a professional football coach in Israel.
“He always had a natural affinity for the role,” said Uncle Fester. “Even at the mansion, he used to prowl around, scowling at Lurch and the Thing as they kicked a ball about, telling them what to do.
“Of course, he had a bit of an obsession with electrocuting anyone on his team who conceded a goal, which FIFA frowned upon…but in fairness, it did mean that his teams always had an excellent defensive record.”
Former Portsmouth manager Tony Adams refused to join the chorus offering praise to Grant. “Are you only asking my opinion on this because my name is ‘Adams’?” he said. “It’s not even spelt the same way. I captained England, you know. This is the thanks I get.”