authoritative, wise, and highly influential pronouncements

Stuff happening to everyone, everywhere

In News on April 29, 2010 at 07:21

Lots of stuff is happening to pretty much everyone, all over the place, according to some people who know what’s going on.

The people who know what’s happening – probably because they’ve carried out some kind of research or something – claim that the amount of stuff going on is at its highest level since “quite a bit ago” when, presumably, some other people tried to do some other things to stop all the stuff happening.

Asked how much of the stuff will be happening today, a man from not far away from your house said: “Lots” before adding that he expected it to affect “most people”.

Some people, pointing at some of the stuff that's happening, presumably.

The man refused to confirm or deny whether he expected more of the stuff to happen next week, and his only comment on the issue was a firm, decisive: “Maybe”.

A leading authority had agreed to comment on why all of the stuff has been happening, before deciding to cancel at the last minute owing to the sheer volume of things that were happening to him.

“I’ll speak to you another time,” he said, without specifying when that would be.

Another man, or possibly a woman, said that they couldn’t remember how long all the stuff had been happening to them, and couldn’t honestly say when they thought it would all stop.

“I couldn’t honestly say when I think all this stuff will end,” they said.

Another man, who must have been quite a bit older than the others, said that he remembered stuff happening to him when he was quite young.

“I remember all the stuff happening back then, when I was a bit younger” he said. “But there was nothing like as much stuff going on then as there is now. Or maybe there was. Honestly, I couldn’t say.”

Some different people have been offering advice about the stuff that is happening, including details of how they should deal with it, and precautions they should take to make sure that they avoid even more of the stuff happening to them in the future.

Soon afterwards, however, they were told to be quiet, after it was noticed that they were specifically addressing the issue at hand, without being even slightly vague.

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