Conservative leader David Cameron has claimed that he will “thcweam and thcweam and thcweam” if he is not elected as Prime Minister in tomorrow’s election.
Speaking to Channel 4 News in a live interview on the eve of the election, Mr Cameron had been in the process of explaining Tory policy on immigration when presenter Jon Snow asked: “So then, what will happens if you don’t get elected?”
Viewers have described how the leader of the opposition’s face turned a bright shade of red, before he waved his arms, stamped his feet and declared: “I’ll thcweam and thcweam and thcweam.
“I want to be Prime Minister!” wailed Mr Cameron, as he knocked over a glass of water and threw his microphone to the floor. “And I want it NOW. NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW.”
When asked to comment on the outburst from the Conservative leader, Prime Minister Gordon Brown said: “To be honest, I think it’s a shame that David lacks the capacity to debate this issue like a grown-up. His childish tantrum is symptomatic of the way the Tories operate.”
However, Mr Brown did add: “Besides – I’M THE PRIME MINISTER. ME,” as he appeared to soil his trousers. “I was here first. It’s MY job.”
The Prime Minister then stuck his fingers in his ears and shouted, “LA LA LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU. MINE, MINE, MINE, LA LA LA.”
“I wish they’d all just grow up,” said BBC political editor Nick Robinson, who demanded to be given an ice-cream before he would agree to comment. “Honestly. I haven’t seen anything like this since John Major had to be burped half-way through an interview on Newsnight in 1996.”
Lib Dems leader Nick Clegg, meanwhile, was unavailable for comment as it was well past his bed-time, while a senior party official claimed that he had cried so hard upon seeing the results of the latest poll that he’d been sick and thrown up his tea.
“He’s had a very busy day,” said a spokesperson for the Liberal Democrats. “It’s for the best that we set him down for the night with his favourite teddy and a hot water bottle so that he’s bright-eyed and refreshed for tomorrow.
“He’s such a big, strong boy.”