Defeated politicians up and down the country are claiming that politics has been the real winner of yesterday’s General Election, according to reports from all three major political parties.
Although the official election outcome has resulted in the first hung parliament since 1974, politicians who lost their seats have suggested that this points to a strong moral victory for all the political parties, and indeed, politics itself.
“At this point, it’s not really important who won, and who lost what,” said Jacqui Smith, who lost her seat to Conservative Karen Lumley in the early hours of the morning.
“No, it’s far more relevant to applaud everyone who stood at this General Election and put on such an audacious display of politics. At times like these, it really is important to stress that it’s not the winning that counts, it’s the taking part.
“Although, obviously, winning is quite important too,” added Smith.
Lembit Opik, who lost his Liberal Democrat seat in Montgomeryshire to Conservative Glyn Davies agreed, declaring: “Over the course of this campaign we’ve seen some smashing politics, with some lovely policies and some very important speeches.
“I think it’s a shame that all of this is forgotten in the rush to remember who won this, or who threw away a clear majority in that seat.
“Perhaps we should spend a little less time worrying about the so-called ‘13.6% swing’ in any particular seat and a bit more celebrating the wonderful exhibition of politics we have been treated to.”
Former television presenter Esther Rantzen came fourth in Luton South with 1,872 votes but said: “What all these people who are focusing on the so-called ‘results’ are forgetting is that this has been an election where we have shown that we have the best politics in the world.
“I mean, sure, we can’t even organise an election without people complaining about the polls shutting on time, while the major parties are still bickering over who should get into power a clear 24 hours after polling started.
“But apart from that, this has been a red-letter day in politics for everyone, regardless of whether they won their seat, or were roundly thrashed, and one in which everyone around the world can look on with a degree of envy.”