Passengers arriving at Heathrow airport have described their relief at finally arriving home, after finding themselves marooned in a variety of sunny and exotic foreign destinations.
All airports in the UK have been closed since the end of last week, because of volcanic ash clouds from the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland, which left hundreds of holidaymakers stranded abroad. The first planes back began arriving back into the UK last night, with passengers keen to spell out the horror of their experience.
“We’ve been stuck in Bali for almost two weeks now, because of the volcanic ash” said Adrian Watson, 36 from Surrey at Heathrow’s Terminal 5. “I mean, look at the state of me. I’m so relaxed I don’t know what to do with myself. and with nothing else to do and have done nothing over the last few days other than lying on a sunkissed beach for up to seven hours each day – sometimes more.”
“My skin has turned precisely the kind of exotic shade of brown which evokes a deep mahogany, and I’ve been force-fed a seemingly endless diet of fresh seafood and cocktails. It’s been unbearable.”
Adrian’s wife, Sheila, was moved to tears by her ordeal, and could only say: “It’s just so good to be back home. Sometimes the sun was so hot that we would be forced into feeding ourselves ice-cream just to cool down. If I have to look at another Cornetto, then I just don’t know what I’ll do.”
But it hasn’t just been the soaring temperatures and laid-back beach-bum lifestyle which has inconvenienced British holidaymakers forced to extend their stay. Passengers arriving from locations all over the world been forced to endure a series of cultural differences which have made their enforced stay impossible.
“I went out looking for a good, English fry-up,” said Frank Dobson, 43, from Southwark, who had been stranded in New York since Thursday. “Do you think I could find one? No I could not. Instead they kept offering me eggs ‘sunny side up’ – whatever that is – with hash browns and waffles.
“I swear, the first thing I did when I got off the plane was to run into the Garfunkels at the terminal, and get myself a full English with a nice cup of tea.
“Is it my fault these people live like savages?” he concluded. “It’s so good to be home, and away from those freaks.”