Universal Studios have purchased the rights to produce a full length motion picture around the topic of the recent volcanic ash crisis, it was announced yesterday.
The movie, called Ash on a Plane, will begin filming at the end of the year, and will be the sequel to the 2006 cult release Snakes on a Plane.
“I see this as less of a sequel, and more of a continuation of an exciting journey,” said Director Steven Spielberg, who enthusiastically attached himself to the project after reading the script.
“I’m just really pleased that Samuel L. Jackson has agreed to reprise his character from the first film. He really is the perfect choice to bring home the menace of all that dangerous, drifting, and relatively harmless ash to everyone who sees the film.”
“In the first movie, we had snakes, and they were on a plane,” explained Jackson. “This time, it’s ash from some volcano in Iceland or somewhere.
“Of course, in the film, nobody actually gets to see the ash, or go anywhere near it…in fact nobody actually gets to go on a plane either.
“It’s more of a tale of very frustrated people arriving at airports, forming huge lines at Starbucks and complaining that they should have got the ferry instead.
“My own character has to travel via two boats, a coach, two trans-continental trains and a donkey before deciding that he would have been better off hi-jacking the motherf*****g plane in the first place.”
Co-stars pencilled in to star alongside Jackson in Ash on a Plane include Harvey Keitel as an overworked Starbucks cashier, Kevin Spacey as a grounded flight attendant with a pressing engagement, and Danny Glover as a good cop one day short of his retirement.
“Who knows how it’ll go?” concluded Spielberg. “We’ve developed a scriptand will begin filming in November, ahead of a release in January 2012.
“If it’s well received, then we can start thinking about a third film, which we’ve had in the pipeline for some time which tackles proposed strike action by British Airways cabin crews.
“It’ll be called Strikes on a Plane.”